Willkommen Sie meinen Blog

Welcome to my Blog, I'm glad you stopped by. I thought a little introduction was in order after I reviewed some Blogs of others and didn't have a clue what it was their Blog was about even after reading the last several posts. Not that it matters, if you like what I write, read on, if not, no harm no foul.

I began writing again after one of my grad classes last summer inspired me to do so. It was a class on the world famous author, Stephen King and it was incredible. In 2011 I received my Master of Arts in Liberal Studies degree from the University of North Carolina Wilmington. My undergraduate degree is also from UNCW in Sociology with a minor in Gerontology which I obtained in 2005.

A lot has changed since I began writing this Blog in 2010. I am rediscovering who it is that I am and what makes me happy. Feel free to read through from the beginning and see where I have come from and continue to follow along as I begin a new chapter in my life, one that proves to be interesting and filled with exciting challenges that I can't wait to share with the World. So for now, "Das ist Leben"...this is life!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Thank God for Girlfriends

I haven't really been in much of a writing mood lately but I decided to chime in at least once before January comes to a close.

Nov 5th 2011

I've been searching for a job, spending time with my family, going to the gym, and really putting in some quality drinking time with my girls. I'm trying to read this book called "The Shack" that a good friend in Germany gave me before I left, but I can't bring myself to stick with it. She said it really helped her after her divorce because it teaches you about forgiveness. The problem I'm having is, I'm not ready to feel forgiving. Screw it, it'll come in its own time. I know God wants me to forgive and I am fighting Him too; I'm just not ready to forgive Matt or myself right now. This is only causing stress in my own life, I know this. I don't sleep well and I can't figure out what my next move is going to be as far as my future. I have zero faith in marriage and I don't trust men...don't care. This is who I am today, not necessarily who I'll be tomorrow. I know one day I'll be in a forgiving mood but I have to conquer my own stubbornness first.

Kristen, Ena, Me, Shari (Dec 31, 2011)

On the positive side, I'm ready to go back to church and find a new church home. I think I'll start this Sunday. I only hope I can make it through service without crying. I don't know when I stopped seeking answers from the one who will never let me down, but I'm ready to put my life back in the right hands and find my truth north again. As my BFFITWWW says, "Let your light shine."

Me with Laura (Nov 2011) in Germany

If it weren't for my amazing family and my crazy ass girlfriends who I consider my sisters, I would be worse off than I am right now. I wouldn't get out of bed and I wouldn't eat...actually that doesn't sound too bad ;P I love that I have a close group of sexy ladies who are just as "messed up" as I am. They make me feel "normal" when we get together and talk about drama. It doesn't matter who you are, you have drama. It just matters how you deal with it and who you let it affect.

Me, Ena, Kayda (Jan 2012)

I'm so thankful for the way I've been handling myself since I left Germany, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I truly love myself and I don't want to be someone who I won't like in a month or two. This is probably the most "real" I've ever been in my life. I am honest with everyone I talk to, and I am really "there" for my friends in a way that I've not been able to be before. I may be without someone to sleep with at night, but I am not without true friends to laugh with and strong shoulders to lean on; this is what makes life worth living.


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